Good lord! In the past two days, I think I’ve checked my phone about 1000 times…then the battery died. And I’ve rushed right over to the library and the internet both days after work to check my emails. I haven’t had a response beyond an auto-reply thank you to the job I applied for.

When I went through this all last winter, I only received one reply of actual interest to the 100 jobs I applied for, so I don’t know why I’m so eager…and then so disappointed every time I check. But I really think I could do this job, and I know they are hiring lots of people. How long should I wait before I go bang on the door?

The job is related to investing, which is something that I am interested in. But then when I spoke with one of my advocates (I’m no longer using the bland word “references”) the other night he put seeds of doubt in my head. He thinks the job sounds too scripted, and that I require a different sort of outlet for my independent thoughts. He might be right. My mouth and my opinions certainly get me in trouble at my current job. I have difficulties acting as a yes-ma’am robot, which is what my assistant manager expects of me. I cannot please her! And I am so frustrated by being made to feel an incompetent fool at every turn. Is it too much to ask to make it through one day without her criticism?

No, I am not complaining. I’m keeping in touch with my motivations. We’re moving on.

I found several job listings today (one company, multiple openings) for a women’s advocacy group. What do you think? I’ve always been ‘one of the boys’, but these sound like positions for an opinionated person. Part of these applications include an essay on my views on domestic violence. Off to do some research.


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There is a Chinese Proverb that states: "A bird does not sing because it has the answers. It sings because it has a song." This is my song. I don't pretend to have the answers.

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