Posts Tagged 'Parties'

Wedding Bells

Here comes the Bride
Doo do d’doo
Doo do-d’doo do d’do do d’do.

There are three weddings this summer of my peers, marking the first of probably many more to come. Certainly, people have gotten married before, but these are my friends and relatives near to me in age and in life journeys.

My Cousin A will be married in September to D, her boyfriend of eight years and an already accepted member of the family. To be honest, I’ve previously wondered why they weren’t already married! The wedding will take place in their favorite restaurant, an old converted barn, near where they live (Massachusetts). Her younger sister, J, is the Maid of Honor, and is way more involved in planning the wedding than free-spirit A. Examples: J is absolutely horrified that A has already purchased her wedding dress – without trying on 100 first. A found her dress on EBay – and it fit, no alterations necessary. A still hasn’t sent out her save the date’s yet, because they are being handmade out of metal by D. J is impatiently awaiting that mailing so she can send out wedding shower invitations. A and D are currently trying to buy a house and have a two-year-old dog – an Australian Cattle Dog/Border Collie mix named Tig. They have experienced stress and grief together, including the long-term illness and death of her father (my mother’s brother). I have no doubt that these two will be strong together for a long time to come.

My coworkers L (the bride) and S (the groom) will be married in August. They purchased a house last fall and are in panic mode trying to get it fixed up in time for the wedding, which will be held in their backyard. It was originally suppose to be a fairly low-key affair but seems to be ballooning beyond what they pictured. Their biggest hurdle seems to be S’s mother, who is picky and a control freak, but not helpful. L and S have been living together for several years, including at least two years spent living on a 40 foot boat in the Caribbean. I don’t know them well outside of work, but as employees they are both intelligent, hard-working team players, but I get the sense that L maybe pushes S around a little.

My old friend, A, is getting married today, to T, a pretty, quiet ER nurse, who I’ve only met a handful of times. She strikes me as quite unlike every other girl he’s ever dated, and there have been a lot. Maybe that is the attraction. It is a destination wedding for 35; the guests are almost all family members. It sounds beautiful and peaceful and most definitely not the stereotypical extravagance (which, perhaps I should note, would be absolutely unexpected from pretty much everyone I know…we aren’t divas and socialites). I’m not one of the four friends invited, but I’m not surprised by that as we’ve grown apart in the last couple years. I hope it works out for them and they are happy forever. I also hope they manage to work out their financial issues: she has an obscene amount of student debt, and he has a history of maxed out credit cards and phone lines getting shut off due to unpaid bills. They have already been denied for home loans twice.

So, among all of this, Boyfriend and I have recently passed the two year anniversary of our first date. People keep asking us when we’re going to move in together already (uh, we’re not), or what the future holds. I suppose we’re just (quite happily) taking things one day at a time – it really doesn’t seem like we’ve been together nearly that long!

An addendum: Wow! There are so many young mothers in this town! They can’t all be baby sitters. It seems to be the thing to do to push a stroller around downtown, with flip-flops and skanky unflattering clothes. Extra points if ciggy-smoking baby-daddy shuffles along beside you. Absolutely frightening. I’m proud to say I don’t know any of them.


Happy St. Paddy’s Day

“A barrel of malt, a bushel of hops, you stir it around with a stick,
the kind of lubrication to make your engine tick.
40 pints of wallop a day will keep away the quacks.
Its only eight pence hapenny and one and six in tax.

He must have been an admiral a sultan or a king,
and to his praises we shall always sing.
Look what he has done for us he’s filled us up with cheer!
Lord bless Charlie Mops, the man who invented beer beer beer
tiddly beer beer beer.”

~Traditional Irish Drinking Song (Beer, Beer, Beer)

I went out last night. Truthfully, I wasn’t looking forward to it. The party host, my Red-Headed Friend (RHF) has two roommates, who host a few huge drunken costumey ordeals a year. I am an introvert and a non-drinker, so these parties tend to be a little too much for me.

But last night I was pleasantly surprised. RHF had St. Paddy’s Party with lots of Guinness, beef stew, and a large collection of musicians (fiddle, guitar, drums, whistle, banjo) in attendance. The musically-inclined friends were fantastic. They had a large repertoire of fast and tricky Irish tunes. I never even knew some of them played, and they certainly had never all played together before. I’m a musician, too. I play the tenor saxophone, but compared to these guys, not very well. I can’t play without sheet music and nobody ever taught me how to improvise or solo properly. But anyway…

The party was more laid back and quieter than what I was expecting, with was more than okay by me! I got the chance to have real conversations with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while, and meet some new people. I even got a job offer from one of the new peeps if I wanted to drive all over and teach CPR classes. Actually, it doesn’t sound like a bad deal; I’m going to think about it. RHF and I even had some one-on-one conversation while setting up Irish Car Bombs. He and I work for the same company and used to be very close to a couple friends who have since moved away, but we’ve never really known each other well. He’s cool; he marches to the beat of his own drum and really knows who he is.

And then, a little later, a whole bunch of other people showed up. Several of these people work for my former employer; most of the others work in the same industry as my former employer. All conversation turned to that industry because some loudmouths made it so. This seems to happen a lot. This industry is the foundation of most of my friendships, even though most of us have moved on. We have gotten to the point in our lives/friendships where we are starting to have diverse interests. I like this; it makes us more multi-dimensional. Although we have our equivalent of “and this one time, at band camp” reminiscing stories, we’ve grown. And then these children show up. I don’t care about them or their stories. I’ve been there; I’ve done that. I’m so sick of meeting these people, and judging by the look on RHF’s roommate’s face, I’m not alone.

I need space. My former employer helped make me who I am, but I wish that wasn’t all that defined me. I love many of my friends, but I need to branch out. I need to find people who share other interests and create new memories. I don’t want to be stuck and pulled back into my past. There is a future, out there, somewhere. I just don’t know how to get there. I can’t even find the rainbow that leads to the pot o’ gold.

Oh. Interesting fact I learned last night: St Patrick is honored because he eradicated the snakes from Ireland. I am terrified of snakes. St. Paddy is my new hero.


There is a Chinese Proverb that states: "A bird does not sing because it has the answers. It sings because it has a song." This is my song. I don't pretend to have the answers.