Archive for June, 2008


Ever commit to something before you know exactly all of what is expected of you? (Who hasn’t, right?)

Well, I’ve done it recently, and now I feel stuck, because I’m really only interested in my original perceived level of participation, and not the current overload I’m feeling. But it seems like my choice is all or nothing.

Remember a while back I joined a band? It was good for a while. Rehearsals were every Tuesday evening for an hour and a half, and they were located at my town’s middle school about a half mile from where I live. Following April school vacation, rehearsals changed locations to an elementary school twenty-five miles away!! Rehearsals frequently run long, and I often don’t get home to start dinner until after nine pm! It is exhausting. The other night our rehearsal was running late because a few members felt the need to discuss an issue that should have been left up to the board, not the general membership, and I started quietly packing up. The alto sax sitting next to me, gets mad at me for being so rude (it should also be noted that this individual was one of the members who had many thoughts to add to the discussion) and asks if I’m going to turn into a pumpkin. Well! Excuse me! I haven’t seen my apartment since six-thirty in the morning, or a bite to eat since lunch, and I have a forty minute drive on dark pothole-ridden roads ahead of me. Yeah, I want to leave.

The drive is another issue. In the past week, the only day I drove my car anywhere was Tuesday. I’ve been trying really hard to do everything by bike or foot. It’s good for me. It’s good for my wallet. It’s good for the environment. I feel proud to be among the local bike commuters that I see regularly (we all wave to one another; it’s quite different from the one-finger wave you get in a car). I can’t get to rehearsal on my bike for four reasons: 1) it is so far. I could probably do one direction, but then how do I get home? 2) I’d be riding home in the dark. No thanks. Too dangerous. 3) The roads out there are really really rough in a car; they would not be suitable for a road bike. And some have no shoulder to ride on. 4) I play the tenor sax. It is too big to carry on my bike.

Then there is the performance schedule, which was finally handed out two rehearsals ago. Thus far, there have been two performances, which is about the frequency I was expecting. The first was a joke: we hadn’t been rehearsing long; we were inside and it was brutally hot; there was a bean supper to follow, so the beans could be smelled cooking downstairs – I thought I was going to puke! I missed the second performance (a series of three parades on Memorial Day), because I had to work. We have a performance outside at our lakeside bandstand tomorrow for Father’s Day. It will eat up my entire afternoon.

Next weekend is a parade in a town south of here, for which our band has also been invited to do a 2 hour performance afterwards. To participate or not (last minute invitation, reduced fee, poorly organized event) was the issue we were discussing the other night. Boyfriend and I have already been talking about going camping next weekend, because it was supposed to be a rare “free weekend” for both of us. The weekend after that, there is a cancer walk that we are playing at on Friday night, and then a big event Saturday two hours south of here, for which we are chartering a bus and will be gone the entire day. There is a performance, or two, nearly every single week between now and the end of September in addition to our weekly rehearsals and independent practicing. Most of the members of the band are retired; perhaps this doesn’t seem like such a huge commitment to them considering they have forty more hours in the week than I do.

I love my sax. But do I love it to the exclusion of my other interests and my free time? Absolutely not. So what do I do now?



UPDATE: I managed to check my email with no problems on a computer in the office at work today. Or, more accurately, I was finally able to delete all the spam in my inbox. I thought the problem was fixed! But then I checked my email at home, and it is still messed up. Both computers were using Windows and Firefox, so I guess the problem lies within my computer. Damn Dell.

I had a huge waffle craving a few weeks ago, but when I went to the brand new Lowes they were sold out of waffle irons. Three weeks in a row. Reluctant to go to Wally World, today I went to a small-chain local department store. They had more choices than Lowes and the prices were about the same. Oh, and they actually had some on the shelf. So what do you think I just ate for dinner? Well, I had to try it out!! And I had real maple syrup, and fresh strawberries and kiwi. Yummy.

Pant, pant, pant

Wow, is it hot!! The bank thermometer in town was reading 88 when I rode past at 4 o’clock. My apartment is at 84 and rising (westward facing). There is plenty of sun and almost no wind. I guess summer is here.

I spent the day working outside, my entire body covered in slimy sweat and sunscreen. My clothes were completely soaked through and plastered to me. I think (hope!) that I didn’t smell quite as bad as some of the guys I was working with, but really, there wasn’t much anyone could do about it.

I took a nice long cool shower the moment I got home, but I feel already feel sticky again. My still-damp hair isn’t cooling me off but making the back of my neck hot and sweaty. Why did I grow my hair long, again?

I need to get my air conditioner out of the basement, but that is a 2 person job, so it won’t happen tonight. I’m also thinking of swapping my chandelier for a ceiling fan. But for now, I suffer. Summer is my least favorite season.

email troubles

My email account (a yahoo) is currently dead and has been since Friday. The display is off, things are out of place, buttons don’t work, and other items are completely non-existent. I cannot compose or open emails, although I can see who has sent to me.

I really really hope this is not a virus problem, and is a problem with yahoo that will be worked out in the near future. I’m starting to have the shakes from email withdrawal. Also, there are a good number of people who only know that address as the way to contact me…I’d be very sorry to lose them entirely if this isn’t resolved. I do not wish to get a new address.

If you communicate with me via email, I suggest you run a virus scan. Mine (Norton) didn’t turn up anything, but I don’t completely rule out the possibility.

For the time being, if anyone should wish to contact me, the best way is to post here, or call me.


There is a Chinese Proverb that states: "A bird does not sing because it has the answers. It sings because it has a song." This is my song. I don't pretend to have the answers.